Day back from the resting
The day started out nice, i noticed that it was Wednesday, which meant only 2 more days of school. I glad Obama won, it's my future that is affected by this election and i hope he does his job well. School was school today, piano, which i did poorly on, but now I'm going to try harder and believe in myself. Physics, had a sub and no work, so i took the time to relax. Government, watched the debates and took some notes. Spanish, wrote long essays.
So today, i had to talk to some people and make arrangements, and Renee is coming to visit tomorrow. It's been forever seen we've seen her. So anyways Chau had to support one of her friends, and i was all up for it. I'm really glad that my girlfriend helps her friends, that she cures their social sickness. But i guess i overreacted and got angry. I took time way too deep into the issue. I did one of the most stupidest things in my life. I got angry. I got angry and my thoughts went racing, my stupid emotions went loose and i had no idea what i was saying. I left, and i felt like crap after that. I went back to check if she was there, i ran around cvs, 7-11, safeway, until she called and told me she was at the park. My heart just couldn't stop beating so fast. What i did was unforgivable, there was no excuse for my stupid acts. So i went to talk to her. She made really good points, about why i was wrong and what i do to our relationship. I mean it hurt, it felt life a knife just hit my chest. I was speechless, it's really hard to say something when you know you are wrong. But I had to tell my honest feelings, about why these thoughts always raced to my head when she hangs out with guy friends. It's my foolish past, that stupid girl, my stupid self for falling so hard, for trusting someone who did something like that to me. It hurt a lot, and infused itself in my mind. I hate that feeling, when i try to forget about it but it just haunts me. But like Chau said, i have to move on and accept the fact that it happened and live. Venting really does feel good, i like getting my thoughts about what i don't like or what i cant handle out of my mind and into someones ears. I'm also buying or trading my stupid cellphone, it never receives calls or sends them. I might get Verizon soons, so its good. You know, at those moments when i walked off, in my frustration, i felt blind. I felt this huge chunk of my life just disappear, i realized that i was lost without her. I even forgot the way home , i just couldn't bare the thought of it ending. It's amazing of how one meeting at school changed the rest of my life. I realize that the world can be evil and there are people who back stab, betray, and lie. but at the same time, the world has a select few of people you can just hand your life over to, someone you can truly trust, someone you can really put your faith in, someone who can make all evils disappear. And i am thankful to everything on earth that i have someone with me like that. Chau, you made me realize that even if my past is evil, betrayed, hurtful, psychotic, and plain out wrong, its what i survived thru and what i do with myself. And i intend to spread that same faith you gave me to the public. Volunteering is a good way to start. You open up so many good doors for me chauzy :]. Almost your birthday :D, i cant wait, its gonna be real funs :] and our sixth months will also be a blast :D.
it's amazing, it really is, how long we've lasted, all our shared experiences, times growing, things we taught each other, and all the love we share. I love you. You make me believe that there is a good portion of angelic actions in this world.
btw... i made ya lunch and i think we should watch more movies. :D
[IMUALUMEOS] - Jim
So today, i had to talk to some people and make arrangements, and Renee is coming to visit tomorrow. It's been forever seen we've seen her. So anyways Chau had to support one of her friends, and i was all up for it. I'm really glad that my girlfriend helps her friends, that she cures their social sickness. But i guess i overreacted and got angry. I took time way too deep into the issue. I did one of the most stupidest things in my life. I got angry. I got angry and my thoughts went racing, my stupid emotions went loose and i had no idea what i was saying. I left, and i felt like crap after that. I went back to check if she was there, i ran around cvs, 7-11, safeway, until she called and told me she was at the park. My heart just couldn't stop beating so fast. What i did was unforgivable, there was no excuse for my stupid acts. So i went to talk to her. She made really good points, about why i was wrong and what i do to our relationship. I mean it hurt, it felt life a knife just hit my chest. I was speechless, it's really hard to say something when you know you are wrong. But I had to tell my honest feelings, about why these thoughts always raced to my head when she hangs out with guy friends. It's my foolish past, that stupid girl, my stupid self for falling so hard, for trusting someone who did something like that to me. It hurt a lot, and infused itself in my mind. I hate that feeling, when i try to forget about it but it just haunts me. But like Chau said, i have to move on and accept the fact that it happened and live. Venting really does feel good, i like getting my thoughts about what i don't like or what i cant handle out of my mind and into someones ears. I'm also buying or trading my stupid cellphone, it never receives calls or sends them. I might get Verizon soons, so its good. You know, at those moments when i walked off, in my frustration, i felt blind. I felt this huge chunk of my life just disappear, i realized that i was lost without her. I even forgot the way home , i just couldn't bare the thought of it ending. It's amazing of how one meeting at school changed the rest of my life. I realize that the world can be evil and there are people who back stab, betray, and lie. but at the same time, the world has a select few of people you can just hand your life over to, someone you can truly trust, someone you can really put your faith in, someone who can make all evils disappear. And i am thankful to everything on earth that i have someone with me like that. Chau, you made me realize that even if my past is evil, betrayed, hurtful, psychotic, and plain out wrong, its what i survived thru and what i do with myself. And i intend to spread that same faith you gave me to the public. Volunteering is a good way to start. You open up so many good doors for me chauzy :]. Almost your birthday :D, i cant wait, its gonna be real funs :] and our sixth months will also be a blast :D.
it's amazing, it really is, how long we've lasted, all our shared experiences, times growing, things we taught each other, and all the love we share. I love you. You make me believe that there is a good portion of angelic actions in this world.
btw... i made ya lunch and i think we should watch more movies. :D
[IMUALUMEOS] - Jim
posted by Hero at
9:15 PM
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