Q_Q

I miss her so much already. It was such a sudden transition, I feel like the both of us just weren't ready to be apart that quickly. But as I said before, If the chance is there, I'll grasp it.

Is it weird...

that someone can fall so quickly for someone in about 2 weeks? bad timing, story of my life lol. If we had this 2 years from now, and I had the ability to move wherever I wanted and had a nice income then heck, im sure the both of us could make it. But you go to school this fall and all the way to JMU T_T man. Well im not giving up, I just need to work harder to be successful, and if that chance remains, I'll grasp it.

I need to get some sleep

Man I have been so busy lately lol. Constant nights out, meeting so many new people, getting to know the dance scene in Virginia. Sheesh, sometimes I just want to lay in my bed and just ignore the outside world and SLEEP. Meh, sometimes I feel bad for doing some of the things I do, it is the college experience thingy ma jig , but I never thought things turn out like this. One of my goals for the new year was to be out-going, and so far it's been going pretty well, for better or worse I don't regret the stuff I do, because each one is a valuable experience.

Never give up.

Philosophy

So I've gone into 8 weeks in my philosophy course, and it's opened up my mind a whole lot. One assignment was to study a philosopher of your choice and reflect on his teachings. Most people would go with old Greek philosophers, but I recalled Bruce Lee being a philosopher himself. So he was the subject of my study, after about a week of going over his speeches, video clips, movies, demonstrations, I've come to understand this whole life thing better. I learned to not forget my past because I don't want to lose the lessons I've learned, but also not to dwell on it because i'll just blind myself, I simply have to grow from it. That ALL knowledge is self knowledge. That we must express ourselves freely, and not by anyone's eyes. What an amazing philosopher Bruce Lee was. And that's why he's one of my role models.

The Gutsy Jim

We cherish our losses, we appreciate those who pick us up. I have to admit, I fell into a slump for a bit. A dark corner, I thought I saw a chance of light when I met this new girl, but the truth was I was just trying to fill a void. I appreciate the help, but I need to make sure it's for real. Though it's nice we remained good buddies. In any case, I have given up before, I'm aware of it. I've made a change in myself though. No matter how hard something gets, no matter how many bruises I get, no matter how many people don't approve of me. I won't give up. I know there will be people who will try to persuade me to give up, when the situation seems hopeless. But you can give up, on me giving up. This is something I vowed to live with. This is my way of life. I've endured so much these past 2 months working my life together with my new belief. From thoughts assaulting my head, things that strike my heart, to sadness from outside. To getting broken fingers, bruises all over my back, and twisted ankles, giving up is no longer part of me.
I want to change this world. I've seen so much hatred around me. So much pain that this planet is enduring. Many people already assume that there is no changing it. People think peace may never occur. But as long as there is a chance, I'll grasp it. It all starts with someone deviating from the norm. Someone willing to put aside doubt, someone who won't give up. Maybe that's why I believe in the art of dancing. After all, dance has no words, it's a language coming from within. Believe it.

I wonder.

why i still dream about you.

Holding onto 2010

I need to create some closure for myself. I still have all these lingering thoughts. It's a new year, so I should start it off fresh right? That's what I keep telling myself but sometimes that's just not enough. I dislike putting on this act at times, I know I shouldn't but I also don't like being mopey. My resolution was to get to know new people, do new things, discover new places, reunite with lost or old friends. Basically I want to be more sociable. Yet, I just need some time right now, I've been trying to rush it out. It doesn't work that way for me I suppose. No matter how many people I hang out with, or how many texts I get saying to cheer up, I guess time is just something I can't rush. I do miss you, I want to talk to you again, these thoughts pop in my head before I go to bed, to leave you a message or something, but I figure that it might just complicate things even further. I don't want to add any more sorrow than what needs to be there. So I'll just keep you in my thoughts, and a place in my smile. I hope you're doing well.

In the past I've made resolutions about being fit. They're effective for about 2 weeks but then they disappear. This year I'm made a plan, a schedule, and a routine I'm going to stick to. So let's kick off this new year.