Untitled.

Am i not supposed to be happy?

Is that the plan in life for me?

Anything that ever brought me joy in life is always being taken away. Does god hate me that much?

My whole life, i've told myself i should be the better person, and never get into fights, never steal, never betray, never hurt myself, never do drugs, never drink, all the things good little kids do. But maybe that's just it. Being a good boy doesn't cut out does it? I lived like that, and what has it brought me? just so much pain. Little by little im starting to lose my sense in why i live like that.

Maybe i shouldn't anymore. I suppose im just a dreamer, just a dreamer of things that actually bring happiness to my life. Am i such a bad person? It really sucks right now. I have no words to describe it.

I hate sounding so pessimistic, but that's all i can feel right now.